The first time I flew with my dog was a nightmare. I didn’t know how she would react, so I gave her a vet-prescribed sedative and wrapped her in an anxiety-controlling Thunder Shirt. That should do it, right?
Actual Panicky Dog
As soon as the plane began to taxi she started scratching at the bag so ferociously that I thought it would rip. When were these sedatives going to kick in?
After an hour of Panicky Dog’s manic scratching I was getting dirty looks from everyone in my row. Even the mothers with crying babies were giving me judgmental looks. {Oh, excuuuse me! Like your kid is so perfect? Pssshhh.}
I needed a break! Or wine. Or both! So I left her to her scratching and went to the restroom. She wasn’t going anywhere, anyway.
Half way up the aisle I hear, “MISS! YOUR DOG IS OUT OF THE BAG!”
{#@$$%} I ran down the aisle and dove across the seats to grab Panicky Dog just as her last paw broke free of the bag. She had figured out that if she leaned her full weight (6lbs) on the zipper, that it would slide open. {smart pup}
The ever helpful stewardess pointed out that I am not allowed to have a dog loose in the cabin. Oh reeeeeally? I had no idea. Thank you. {eye roll}
I don’t know if you’ve ever tried to get a dog in the midst of a panic attack back into a carry case after she’s had a taste of freedom, but it’s not easy.
She managed to somehow make her body larger than the opening in the bag. Head first didn’t work, because she used her paws to block herself. Butt first only resulted in my face getting bitten.
After a lot of cursing and crying (on both our ends), I eventually finagled her tiny body into the bag, but I couldn’t get her head all the way down. So I did what any woman would do in that situation. I turned the bag sharply to the side and she fell backwards.
HA! Take that, Panicky Dog!! You will not outsmart your human! {demented laughter, high-five terrified passengers}
A few minutes later, I felt something bite down on my big toe. Panicky Dog had managed to chew her way through the netting and was now attempting to chew her way through my foot.
She mustn’t escape – again!
I blocked the opening with my foot and for the remaining 20 minutes she scratched, bit and rammed my foot with all her strength. Once safely on the ground, she fell promptly to sleep and stayed that way for the next 4 hours. Little bitch (literally).
Seriously?! She obviously needed more meds!! lol
Panicky Dog needs enough meds to put down an elephant! But I still love her
I am laughing my ass off on the quiet floor of the library!!!!
The image of you laughing that hard in a quiet library is making me laugh!
Loved it! Thundershirts are awesome, but there is some training involved.
You should have told your fellow plane riders that at least your dog can eat her poop and therefore eliminate the possibility of offending other riders, unlike their children!!
With Warm Aloha,
Pam
Pam – excellent suggestion. Next time!
I love that you added the hand drawn picture. It is awesome!
Thanks! I couldn’t find a picture that did Panicky Dog’s reaction justice, so I whipped out my *amazing* artistic skills